Day 4

www.51in51days.blogspot.com is a blog about the journey of getting my life back 

on track in the 51 days leading up to my 51st birthday on January 13, 2013.

DAY 4

If you read Day 3 of my blog, you might remember I had a minor breakthrough in regards to my food choices. Alas, by sundown I was eating a Kit Kat bar. Ok, it was not a permanent or even very long term solution to my problems, however it did give me a bit of insight to what is going on with me. I ran to the Kit Kat bar after I read an email from a friend that made me upset. My food choices are not the issue. It is my emotions, or lack of a solid base I have at the moment. I reached for the Kit Kat bar, not because of it's luscious milk chocolate and crispy wafers. No, I reached for it to make me feel better. When I look even deeper, it is my spirit that has weakened or even been broken to allow me to get to this point. My goal over the course of 51 days is to help myself in body, mind and spirit. My body is effected by my mind that effect my emotions, and my internal talk and feelings are dictated by my spirit. All integrated, all the time. I know this, it's not something new for me.

However the exercise yesterday and the weakness for the Kit Kat bar really drove this point home. My blog is not really about getting my body, mind and spirit back on track. It's about getting my spirit aligned and balanced, and the mind and body will follow. The Kit Kat bar is just a symptom of what is going on with my spirit. Now when I say spirit, I mean two things. Firstly I mean my spirit, as in my will to live, also my will power to do things knowingly in my best interest, and my overall disposition in my daily life. Am I happy when I get up in the morning? Lately, it's been touch and go. Some days yes, some days no. Overall I've been saddened by circumstances and the blog is here to help me get my groove back so to speak. But when I say Spirit, I am also speaking about the higher consciousness. Am I connected to that Universal energy? The reason I was put on Earth in the first place? I'm not an atheist. I'm not even an agnostic, I'm a believer that there is a God, or a higher power of some kind. I will readily tell you I just don't understand how it works, or I agree with the "Universal Law" sometimes. But maybe due to my plebeian brain, I'm not supposed to. But on some level I need to address my relationship with this higher power, or maybe with just the acceptance of how the universe works. I fight how it works a lot. I argue in my head a lot about how the universe is so unfair.  Not so much for me, well maybe for me too, however I'm talking about people who have it much worse than I do. I can't wrap my brain around how some people have so much, and some have so little. To me, it is not fair. I would like to get to the point in my life where I accept how things are, instead of arguing with God. When you argue with God, you always lose. You are perpetually frustrated. That is where I am. I'll admit it.

So what has turned out to be an benign blog to document my life for 51 days to getting my life back on track, has in 4 days become a crusade to get aligned with the God almighty. Wow, I did not even see that coming. If I was on the path for my higher purpose, my spirit, my will to live, disposition, etc, will raise to a higher vibration, and thus level out my emotions, and make my body healthier with me naturally making better life choices. Fascinating and very deep considering this all started with me grabbing a Kit Kat bar to relieve my stress levels.

The interesting thing about this is, a friend called last night and invited me to a meditation group tonight. She said, "look it up online to see if you're interested." It's called Munay-Ki.
http://www.munaykiawakening.com/Welcome.html
It's the nine rites of passage to awakening and empowerment through shamanic traditions. As soon as I read that, I said, "Sign me up." Tonight I will be going to my first Munay-Ki ceremony. I will report back in my blog all about it tomorrow.

So what started early this morning as a blog about my lack of self control and over indulgence, my body, turned into a blog about awakening, enlightenment and aligning with my true purpose, the ultimate spirit. Who knew an innocent Kit Kat bar could do so much for you?

Elissa is a freelance writer & graphic designer somewhere in Los Angeles.

Until tomorrow and Day 5 of my blog....